A Secret Women Know But Men Don't
By David DeAngelo
By David DeAngelo
"...if a woman isn't ATTRACTED to a man, all of his attempts to confess his love, convince her to like him, and court her BACKFIRES."
I'm always fascinated by the idea that we humans don't always understand the message that we're communicating to others...So often we think that because we WANT to communicate a message , others are going to NATURALLY understand what we're trying to say.
Have you ever seen a guy in a foreign car that has wheels on it that cost more than the car itself... with his stereo blasting... and a muffler that somehow AMPLIFIES the raw sound of the 4-cylinder motor...?Have you ever thought to yourself "I don't think that car is communicating the message to women that he thinks it is"...?Yea, I have too.Well here's the deal:
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If you do something to "let a woman know how you feel"... but she isn't ATTRACTED to you, then it's going to backfire.It's going to trigger a feeling that [I'd] call the "Instant Ewww".The Instant Ewww is just as powerful as the physical and emotional response of ATTRACTION.
Once a woman feels it, YOU'RE DONE.It's over.It's like hammering a RAILROAD SPIKE into the coffin.Once a woman feels the Instant Ewww, she will start behaving differently.In short, she'll disappear.
Men make this mistake over and over again in life because they're doing what MAKES SENSE to them.I mean, If you have a friend, and you like them, and you want to make them like you more... and you do some nice things for them, they will probably like you more.
On the other hand...If you have a woman that you "like" in a romantic way, and she doesn't "feel it" for you, and you do something nice for her because you want HER to like you more, it will BACKFIRE... and she will not only NOT like you more, she will most likely distance herself from you.Guys think that they need to communicate when they like a woman... as if that's part of the necessary process of getting a girl.In their minds, it goes like this:
Like her>Tell her you like her>She likes you
Well remember... if you follow this pattern yourself with women who aren't ATTRACTED to you, then it's going to BACKFIRE.If she's not into you, then it goes like THIS:She thinks of you as a friend>You tell her you like her>She gets the "Instant Ewwws" and never wants to be around you again...
THE ANSWER:There are really TWO answers to this problem.
The first answer is what to do if you're in a situation where you like a particular girl, but you don't know if she likes you back.
DON'T GET HEAVY WITH HER.
Don't buy her a big gift and write a love letter...
Don't send her ten dozen roses to her work with a not that says "From your secret admirer".
Don't call her three times a day.
DON'T CONFESS YOUR LOVE for her.
"If you want to know how she feels about you, KISS HER"
Use "The Kiss Test" .As a rule of thumb, don't get heavier than HER. Use SIGNALS from her to find out how she feels...Asking a woman if she's interested in you in a romantic way, or if you are "her type" will actually DESTROY the chances that she'll like you.
The SECOND answer is to not get into this particular situation in the FIRST PLACE. Avoid it entirely.And how does one do that?One does that by creating ATTRACTION from the beginning.One does that by understanding the dynamics of how and why women have the physical and emotional response of ATTRACTION triggered.One does that by knowing what you're doing FROM THE BEGINNING.
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